Up and Adam
Half-drunk
My facebook status this morning announced that I was feeling subdued. Subjude, perhaps. Mike R’s wonderful response was the title of this post. Oh… the joy of being out-punned.
I find myself in a season of waiting: I am truly living in the now but not yet, and, at the same time, trying to discover how live it truly.
It’s a delicate balance that I am yet to find. I wonder if the only way we stumble onto the right path, or wrigle our way into the groove, is to veer from side to side for a while. This is certainly the way it seems to be happening at the moment.
As I’ve set out on a path of self-discovery I have stumbled upon parts of myself that I think I was unfamiliar with before. Reactions and habits are given names, and the weak points that have comfortably hidden away in the shadows like the naughty but much-loved and nurtured children they are have a spotlight shone onto their bowed heads. There you are! Come on Self Discipline! Come on Delayed Gratification! Why don’t you come out so I can take a really good look at you!
I’ve never been good at business before pleasure. Of getting the job done. Of healthily managing my free time. I am the queen of procrastination, and of over-filling my diary with a list of commitments that will become half-completed or done in rush. I envy those who have the time to read, to go for walks, to spend their free time… well, freely. What I’m learning to say is rather that I envy those who choose to have the time to read. Who choose to use their time off to walk, and talk, and spend time with friends. I recognise that I also have that choice. I am the master of my time.
Yesterday I chose to run. I ran for 4 miles and can’t wait for the next time. Today, with Mike’s turning about of my introspection I chose to take myself to my favourite neighbourhood coffee shop “The Pantry” and (finally) get on with my writing. This afternoon I hose to find a cafe in town, with a window overlooking a cow on a roof, and blog.
Up and Adam, Adam.
Rooftop Cow – Reflection
Just remember there is not much toilet paper on the road less travelled.
Hallo from the mountaintop where I have been wrestling with my own demons of procrastination and fear. Still some days I win and so far we have 2 liturgys and 11000 words of the novel. In between some great reading and simple food. Last night I was sitting wrapped in a quilt watching the snow fall on the mountain. This morning the cabin was surrounded by a carpet of snow and I sat on the porch with a coffee, watching the red cardinals twittering. Good times. Wish you were here……. seeing that photo of the pantry makes me want a sausage bap mmmmmmm Go team Jude mx